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Thoughts for Thanksgiving Hugs
I love to hug children
They feel so good
I’d hug them every day
If only I should.
But hugs are for parents
Grandparents and such
Professionals should go with
High fives, knuckles, and thumbs up.
Today, on Thanksgiving
Give your family your best
Squeeze them with hugs
Save High Fives for the rest.
Kathie, I see all of the typical developing children in my elementary and middle school giving High Fives, thumbs up, and knuckles to their teachers and peers. YET, when it comes to children with autism and other disabilities the same age child is hugged and hugging. I’m worried that we, as professionals, are teaching untypical behaviors. What are your thoughts on SLPs hugging children with autism and other disabilities?
Karen, SLP
Kathie’s Tips: High Five for asking that question, Karen. I’m very opinionated about hugs to children with autism and with all disabilities. I feel so strongly, that I even wrote my Thanksgiving poem around your question.
I want you to know this first, I’m a very warm person and I love hugs – both getting them and giving them. My grown son has autism and I have always hugged him. But Doug is my son and I have always explained to him that it is okay to hug your mother. In fact many times I ask Doug, “Have you hugged your mother today?”
Reasons SLPs and other professionals should NOT provide hugs:
- Children with autism/disabilities do not know when to stop hugging
- Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate who they hug
- Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate how hard they hug
- Children with autism/disabilities scare people when they hug
- Children with autism/disabilities hug beyond the appropriate age
- Children with autism/disabilities often hug for sexual stimulation
- Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate what a hug is for or its appropriateness
- Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate what environments are appropriate for hugging
If we do not teach young children alternatives to hugs,
the rules changes for them as they get older and that is not fair.
It is the failure of the professional, not the child,
but it is the child, now teen or young adult, who will be ostracized by society
and confused by what he/she has been taught.
How do I start changing this hugging behavior?
- 1. Watch other students in your school
- 2. Watch teachers with typical developing children in your school
- 3. Watch peer to peer interactions at all grade levels
- 4. If you have a hugger, watch the reaction of the people they hug
- 5. Start with yourself
Divert the hug with a gentle hand and give a High Five
Divert the hug with a gentle hand and give a thumbs up
Divert the hug with a gentle hand and give a knuckle to knuckle (taps)
Do role-playing and have peers practice
Tell the office staff what you are doing and practice with a walk through
Don’t forget the school custodian/lunch workers, share this goal for a great place
to practice with other adults
Share this information with parents/grandparents/caregivers
This is pragmatics in ACTION
It will avert bullying
(for this reason anyway)
I just returned from the American Speech/Language Hearing Association National Convention in San Diego. I attended many wonderful sessions on autism/ASD/Aspergers syndrome. I worked in the exhibit hall and enjoyed the city with my husband.
Be sure to catch my Autism Spectrum Blogs on ADVANCE for the Speech Language Pathologist. The ASHA blogs are being posted at least twice a week. Lots of great information and tips for SLPs and parents.
I have also posted three collages On the Road with Humpty Dumpy. Mr. Humpty had so much fun at ASHA and of course, he’s always the center of attention.
The picture at the top is of several of my ASHA name badges. I’ve been attending since the 1980′s.
Good Speech, Inc. is the name of my private speech therapy practice in Las Vegas, NV.
My daughter, coined the phrase, “Speech Pathologists Make Good Things Happen.”
- Speech Pathologists Make Good Things Happen for Children
By working with them, by caring about them, by constantly learning from them.
- Speech Pathologists Make Good Things Happen for Adults
By making their lives worth living, by empathizing, by giving your time.
- Speech Pathologists Make Good Things Happen for Families
By sharing, by listening, by praising, by encouraging, by empowering.
- Speech Pathologists Make Good Things Happen for Other Professionals
By learning from them, by sharing with them, by teaming with them.
- Speech Pathologists Make Good Things Happen for Their Communities
By sharing knowledge through speaking, writing, and charity events.
- Speech Pathologists Make Good Things Happen for Themselves
By sharing knowledge and talents with children, adults, families, professionals and communities.
SLPs receive gifts every day of their lives as they look beyond the bucket that sits at the end of the rainbow. These gifts are heard in a child’s laughter as he/she shares a moment of joy in therapy. These gifts are seen in the tears of gratitude as they slide down a wrinkled face withered by time. These gifts are touched as a parent’s hand reaches out in gratefulness for your time and for going one step beyond the edge of the sidewalk. These gifts are felt in your heart as you walk for autism, light up blue for autism, or support any disability/charity in your community.
We, as speech pathologists, have chosen such an honorable, yet responsible profession.
I just returned last night from ASHA (American Speech Hearing Association) National Convention. There, I caught up with and met so many wonderful SLPs. We connect to make life better for individual people and families. SLPs love what we do and honor those with whom we work.
Yes, I took my Humpty Dumpty and will be doing a blog titled, “Humpty Dumpty Takes ASHA,” on his website at On the Road with Humpty Dumpty.
I attended many sessions on autism across the spectrum and will be blogging at ADVANCE for the Speech-Language Pathologist. Lots of great information and tips will be posted for toddlers to adults.
Want JOINT ATTENTION ~ POINT
There is near POINTING and distant POINTING.
Children with autism especially, have difficulty following a distant point.
“Look at that dog on his bed.” (while pointing)
Pointing to a picture in a book is near pointing.
PRACTICE BOTH !
Life is filled with sequences.
Sequence for you child by naming 1, 2, 3 or
first – middle – last
Today, November 1st is National Author’s Day.
I would like to announce, my soon to be launched, children’s book
Bayo the Boo Cow
from Ink and Quill Publisher, Henderson, NV
Bayo means to find joy in Nigerian.
Boo ~ Boo ~ Boo, Bayo could not say “Moo.”
Parents and Teachers – you will be thrilled to find a barn load of oral motor exercises at the end of Bayo to practice with your chilren for developmental articulation skills.
These exercises are written by Kathie Harrington, M.A., CCC, SLP
Kathie has years of experience working with children with speech and language disorders as well as developmental milestones. Let Kathie and Bayo show you and your child fun and empowering strategies for speech development that can be successful individually or in a classroom environment.
Bayo the Boo Cow will be available shortly.
E-mail me for pre-orders and I’ll give you a “cowabunga” of great deal.
kathieh2@cox.net
Give speech a pattern by tapping individual words
on a table, in your hands, or on your knee.
Keep your phrases and sentences short and direct.
Use this technique for articulation and language.
Be sure to check out and “Like” me on my new Facebook page, KATHIE HARRINGTON’S AMAZING AUTISM PAGE.
This is another new way of presenting information and inspiration to the autism/ASD community.
Share with your family and friends.
After all – life is AMAZING!
Oral Motor Exercises such as blowing bubbles, clicking tongue, wiggling tongue, vowel exchanges, pursing lips, making silly faces. Beneficial for articulation, apraxia, autism, attention/focus. Parents and professionals should always provide a model and have FUN.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT ~TONGUE TRACKS~
Just what every parent and professional needs for oral motor exercise and fun!
